We All have A reason To live: Red Dead Redemption
by SuchaCarelessWhisper
Summary: In life there are always paths we must walk, we don't all chose the right path but whatever the path is that you chose, you never know what is going to be on the other side; Abigail/John, Bonnie/John. The story takes place towards the end of the game but I wanted Dutch alive to make it more interesting; the plot is not meant to confuse anyone
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! I haven't made a Red Dead Redemption story in a very long time and I thought that I should get on making a new one and this time it's going to be a story! I am focusing this story mostly around Abigail and John but I always make sure to add Bonnie into the mix just because I love her and I love her interaction with John. Any way, sorry about the bad note, so just read and I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ******I do NOT own any one nor do I make profit from the making of this.****

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A bead of sweat trickles slowly down the side of John's filthy face but he doesn't have time to worry about it. He's busy teaching his boy how to build a barn and he starts by showing him how to repair the one they already have. There's a lot of work that needs to be done around the ranch and John could use the extra pair of hands and it is a good learning experience for Jack. John holds up the pieces of wood while Jack nails them into place against the rest of the barn.

"What is it boy?" John asks and looks down at Jack, who seems to be frozen in place, hands flat against the wood. Jack only sighs and bends over to reach for the next piece of wood from the hay pile and almost forgets that John even says anything to him.

John uses the back of his hand to wipe away sweat and shrugs and continues on his work. This time he has Jack hold the pieces of wood in place while he hammers. Sometimes John did question his handy work. This barn of his was not even two years old yet and it's falling apart all over the god damn place so it's a good thing Abigail talks him into getting it repaired or at least tries to. Even being hidden and shaded underneath the roof of the barn, every movement just seems to make John sweat more. Only tiny rays of sunlight breaks through the cracks but not enough to burn the skin.

Jack picks up another large piece of wood with both hands and slams it up against the barn wall. John's reaction is calm and subtle. "Somethin's on your mind," he says loud enough, and keeps his focus on the wood siding. Jack quickly moves his hands out of the way while John hammers and he takes a seat on one of the hay bales. Metal against metal is not a pleasant sound but it isn't hard to get used to. Jack sighs again and stares at his shoes between his knees. John finishes up hammering the nails in and tries to give his son all of his attention. John hikes his boot up onto the hay bale and leans forward into his knee. He gazes at his son with some confusion but far more worry.

"Talk to me Jack, what is it that's botherin' you?" John simply asks and he knows he isn't good at being a father but he is doing his best. Jack stays quiet for a moment before he lifts his chin and stares into the eyes of his father. The look in his sweet baby blues just hurts John and it's a sign that something is clearly bothering the boy.

"When is ma' goin' to get better?" is all the young man says and it's all that John needs to understand why Jack's been acting strange these past few weeks. John goes stiff and stratches the back of his ear. He swallows the hard lump in his dry throat and gives his boy the only answer he knows at the moment. "I'm hoping real soon Jack," John answers with a soft tone and rests a hand on Jack's shoulder while he looks down at the stray pieces of hay sticking out from the bale. At this point, nothing but chirping birds is all they could hear. Removing his hand, John moves away from Jack and continues to work on the barn. Jack stands up quietly and leaves his father's side.

John doesn't want to sound or look upset at Abigail's sudden sickness around Jack but as he watches the boy leave, his breathing picks up and so does his movements. The man lifts up his dirty sleeves until the girth of his bicep stops him from going up any further and he picks up another thick piece of wood with both hands and slams it hard against the wall. He's angry and it's starting to show through; John doesn't like to be a rough, angry man and normally he is far from it or at least not to the point of going completely mad but he has times when he's very pissy. It's usually hard to keep it all in. Now that Abigail is sick he has no idea how to pass all of this damn time.

The morning sun seems to grow even hotter and brighter as the day continues on and John doesn't enjoy any of the time he spends out in it. After patching up the hole in the barn, John retrieves his hat from the large hay pile further inside the barn and marches on towards the house. He desperately needs to see that kind doctor again. John can't help but worry every day and night for Abigail's random weakness and pains.

He makes his way into the house and carefully closes the door behind him. Jack is found sitting in his father's chair reading another one of his books and John takes in the sight before him and begins to shake. He loves Jack more than his own life but the picture he sees now, just the two of them, how was John ever going to make it without that woman?

John leaves the family room and heads for the bedroom. Before he's even in the hallway, he could hear Abigail cough up a wild storm and it only brings him down. It has been so long since John's last touched her and kissed her. All the love they used to share in those cotton sheets was nothing but painful memories John desperately wants to relive again, just once before he loses that wild woman of his. When he put his hand to the door and opens it half way, he slides inside quietly as he could but the heels and spurs on his boots make it kind of hard against the wood floor boards.

Whatever it is that Abigail has was something John should probably stay away from but it's too hard for him to just sit in his chair, have a cigarette and even drink without seeing her face. His eyes found hers and he fakes a convincing smile. She lays awfully still in bed, her body hidden underneath the sheets. There are terrible dark circles around her eyes and her tinted skin is now as white as the moon.

John continues to get close and ends up stopping beside her. "Hey darlin', how you feelin'?" John asks and he already knows the answer to the idiotic question of his. Abigail just gives her wrist a flick and turns her head in the opposite direction of his. John slowly reaches out to her clothed arm but she pulls it sluggishly away and demands him to leave. Her voice, the loud, crazy voice of hers is nothing but weak crackles.

John isn't at all confused or hurt by Abigail's rejection but now that she's bedridden, the woman still wants nothing to do with her loyal man. It angers him a bit but it mostly just hurts deeply. John doesn't want to give up on Abigail but she is making it so damn easy for him to. He did as he is told and leaves the room. John leaves the door cracked and in the kitchen he bumps into Jack near the stove top. John curiously peeks up over the boy's shoulder and finds a nice boiling pot of potato soup. He smiles at the boy's ability to cook, since John has little to no experience in the kitchen. "If you want some you are gonna' have to wait, I'm givin' ma' the first bowl," Jack says out loud so John can understand and the man backs off and takes a seat at the table.

Jack grabs a bowl from the cupboards above the stove and carefully pours the steaming soup. John just sits there at the table, points out cracks in the wooden surface with his short nails and counts all the scars both of his hands possess. Jack quietly leaves the kitchen and John sits there without a word. He leans himself back into the chair and it earns him a soft creak. Over this past month John notices the weight he has put on and it is not enough to notice a difference but he knows; drinking is what he likes to do and it's a hard habit to kick.

John doesn't eat tonight. As soon as the sunset dies down and the cool breeze follows after, he makes his way to the outside, onto the porch and listens to the sound of his spurs hitting the wood as well as echoing barks coming from Rufus. His horse isn't too noisy tonight which is a good thing. John leans forward into the wooden railing and pulls out a cigarette stick from his quickly emptying pack.

Along with it he pulls out his match box and he expertly lights the cigarette. Once he presses the butt to his lips, he inhales all of the dangerous fumes and feels the thick smoke wrap tightly around his lungs. It burns but he is used to that. He then exhales and stares off into the distance, thinks about Abigail and Jack, feeling somewhat guilty and ashamed.

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**E/N: I hope this was a good beginning because I am planning on making this a story! Stick around for more updates!**


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE: I got a great review from a guest and finally fixed my tenses to make it sound better.**

John woke up on the couch. He's been sleeping on it ever since Abigail became ill. He sat up and a wave of pain took over his entire back. He glances over at the window near the fireplace and the sky is a gray overcast of clouds. Today doesn't seem like a good day to do any work outside. As he got to his feet, John realizes he was still wearing his boots but that doesn't bother him. He gently rubs his head and his fingers notice how greasy and filthy his hair was. It has been a couple days since he last bathed and he definitely needs a good bathing.

He smells like nature and sweat along with cigarette smoke that Abigail never could stand. His ranch attire never smells good and sleeping in them never makes the smell any better. John scratched his head, making his way to the wash room. He stares down at the water basin that is only slightly big enough for him to fit inside and grabs the tin jug, heading outside to retrieve the water to boil.

John heard Rufus growl as soon as he stepped out onto the porch and he soon sees the dead body of a squirrel underneath his blond paws. The man leans over to pat the dog on the back and makes his way to the water pump. The air is warm and John can feel the breeze blow through his dirty locks of hair. When he bends over near the pump, he slides the tin jug underneath of it and begins to pump as much water as he could. The damn pump is going to give out soon; all of the rust covering it can't be good. With a sigh, John moves away from the pump and takes the jug with him back to the house.

John wanders through the house and enters the kitchen, where he spots the silver soup pot on the stove and he pours the water into it. He then gets the coal burning and makes sure it's safe and burning well before closing the door. It takes at least thirty minutes or less for the water to start boiling but John doesn't leave the kitchen. With the few minutes left to waste, John's thoughts unwillingly wander off to Dutch. It has been years since John's last seen him and when they met face to face after so long, the both of them were equally startled yet excited to the point of anger and frustration. Marston knows he has to find him and soon but Abigail's illness only grows worse and he isn't ready to put his family in danger again, he just can't do that.

The water finally starts to boil and John lifts himself up out of the creaky chair. He's careful when he takes hold of the pot handles but somehow he still manages to burn himself while on his way into the wash room. John bends over the old water basin once inside and pours the hot water into it, watching the steam bubble forward into his face. It feels good against his scarred face but he waves the steam away and decides to stick with the amount of water he has. It's not even half full but he gets undressed anyway.

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Bonnie finally finishes the last of her lemon tea and looks over at Amos, who was sitting across from her at the kitchen table. It's been weeks now that John's been reunited with his family and she misses him dearly; more than she thought she would. Bonnie knew she was ready to settle down with a good man but Amos is far from her type but her father continues day after day trying to push the two of them together. The man openly admitted to Bonnie in the past his deep feelings for her but he could tell by her actions that it wasn't a mutual thing. It was a heart breaking thing but it never stopped the way he felt.

"I have to make a trip into Armadillo, care to accompany me?" Bonnie asks with a smile that has Amos's heart skipping beats. "Of course Miss, I would love to," he kindly acknowledges and smiles right back at her, both of them stand up, and head for the door. Drew is busy cleaning and maintaining the horse corral and that gave Bonnie a small sense of relief. Her father's a good man but he has his moments and always makes sure to control what occurs in his daughter's life, doing his best to keep her safe.

Bonnie jumps up into the seat of the stagecoach and so does Amos, both of their weight causing the wagon to rock. The young woman takes a secure hold of the reins and gives the horses a gentle whip to get them going. The sun still wasn't shining but the cool breeze was just what they all needed. The dirt roads are bumpy and the wild life is breathtaking. Doe hopping, birds singing; Bonnie just absolutely loved it when all the animals came out of hiding. It always gives her a chance to see all the little critters that she normally can't because of all the work at the ranch.

The road to Armadillo is a quiet one. Amos coughs a few times and only one tiny conversation between them but other than that, nothing. Bonnie carefully steers the horses into the direction of the general store and she jumps down. Amos meets her seconds later and he follows the young woman into the building.

He doesn't ask what she's looking for but he sees her grab a few ready to eat green apples from the fruit stand and puts them carefully into the bottom of her produce basket. A little smile is on her lips and Amos can see that. Bonnie grabs a few more apples and some carrots and she kindly pays the prejudice man behind the counter. The little town of Armadillo doesn't seem so lively today as it usually is but Bonnie wasn't worried.

Amos only assumes they are heading back to the ranch but Bonnie has other plans. Amos knows she is stressed, she's a very busy woman but when she offers him a drink it kind of takes him by surprise. He accepts the friendly offer and they walk into the saloon. One unoccupied table caught Bonnie's eye and Amos quickly claims it before anyone else could while Bonnie orders the drinks. Men are pigs and she usually told herself that; men around these parts definitely are and the stares she was noticing at the corner of her eye just disgust her.

She doesn't let their filthy stares distract her thoughts though and orders two glasses of scotch. She doesn't want anything too strong but not too mild either; she isn't a drinker so it's very surprising of her to even walk into the dirty saloon. The older fellow behind the bar gives Bonnie a smile before passing her drinks over. She grabs the glasses and silently makes her way over to Amos, towards the center of the room. "Glass of scotch to wet your whistle?" Bonnie teases with a smile and takes a seat across from Amos, and she watches him take a sip from his glass. Amos nods and rests his hat over across his lap. Bonnie just stares down into the glass watching the amber liquid wave back and forth while she unconsciously taps her fingers against the glass. Soon the saloon is full of life and the piano man starts to play a familiar song. The air is suddenly warm and scents of all kinds fill her nose. She wants to drink the scotch and break free from her daily routine if only for a little while but something was stopping her.

"You alright Miss?" Amos asks, finally emptying his glass, clearly noticing Bonnie's sudden change in mood. He knows she's not a drinker and that's a good thing but it would be nice if she just drank it. She needs something to relieve some of the damn stress from her life. Bonnie looks up from her glass at Amos and smiles small. She only nods her head and that kind of reassures him. "I'm fine," she answers him and her voice is quiet. Amos shifts around in his chair and it releases a loud creak. Bonnie continues to look into her glass and finally she raises it to her lips and sucks a tiny sip from it. She isn't used to the flavor or the burn as it rolls down her throat but she did good taking it all down. Some folk stare as the beautiful woman downs the tiny glass of scotch but nobody says a word.

Amos leans back into his seat and rest his hands flat on top of the table. Bonnie lets her hand fall from the glass and swallows whats left of the liquor on her tongue. The two friends meet eyes and she smiles. Amos leans forward and carefully brushes his fingers across Bonnie's hand. The contact startles her but she accepts it. "Thank you fer' the drink Miss Macfarlane, I very much enjoyed my time with you this mornin'," the man explains to her with a heart-warming smile and he pulls his hands away from hers.

Bonnie flicks her wrist and stands up. "No need to thank me Amos and I enjoyed it as well, now lets get out of here 'fore things get messy," Bonnie acknowledges the kind man and the two of them leave the saloon.

**.**

Abigail's illness is only getting worse. John gave his woman some of his time earlier this morning and he held her as she vomited into a bucket over John's lap. She is dangerously hot to the touch and before he leaves, he gives her a quick rub down with a damp cloth. He misses Abigail. John misses the softness of her skin, the many dark freckles covering her tinted skin and the way they used to talk to each other like a real couple. It's been an hour since John left Abigail to rest. He heads sluggishly outside to have a quick cigarette break, throws a bone from the steak last night for Rufus and takes a little ride into Blackwater for a few essentials at the general store. He thinks too much about Abigail and Jack. He has no idea what is going to happen next with his lovely wife but the feeling inside wasn't a good one.

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**E/N: I hope this chapter was enjoyable. It took a while because I wanted it to sound realistic and good as I can. Stick around for more updates! **


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